One thing I say often, and am so glad that it is part of the ethos and belief of SiMBA, and will say here again ~ it does not matter if our baby was only in our womb for 5 weeks, 5 months or was full term when we lost them. They are our baby no matter what age they are when we are forced to say goodbye to them and that pain and hurt and grief is equal. We are parents and siblings and grandparents who have lost our baby. Full stop. The grief of a full term loss and the grief of a miscarriage are equal because we have lost our hopes and dreams for our baby, we have lost a treasured, precious part of our family, we have lost ....
"Hi, I'm Eilidh .... a SiMBA Kiltwalker. I have several reasons that have spurred me on to walk for this charity.
One of the reasons I have taken this on is because of Joanne Docherty. We knew each other in school and she truly inspired me to get fit and raise money for good causes. Her enthusiasm and drive is second to none. She is an absolute inspiration. As an RE teacher I am involved in fundraisers in my school community but I never really threw myself into it preferring to organise events that the kids could raise for.
I was absolutely inspired by Joanne to join the Kiltwalk and #TeamSiMBA. I looked at the charity and have utter belief that this is a charity that deserves focus. Probably because of my own life experiences.
In November 2003 I suffered a miscarriage at 11 1/2 weeks . I was devastated! Life seemed so unfair and I felt had robbed me of something that I desperately sought and longed for. At that time I had told people I was pregnant. I was so close to the landmark 12 weeks that it never entered my mind that I would be robbed of a heartbeat at that first scan. I was beyond devastated!
When I went for the D&C the following day after the scan I was empty, heartbroken and truly I felt I was to blame. I totally felt I had let my husband and both our families down. I hadn't ofcourse but it was a bleak place.
At 11 1/2 weeks though I had never felt the flutter of movement, those kicks in my womb and the visible feet and fists through my stretched belly that so many mothers feel through the trimesters of pregnancy. I have since then enjoyed that having carried and delivered two beautiful girls. The heartache that parents must go through after experiencing those sensations and then to be robbed at the final furlong I cannot even begin to fathom.
I was early in my pregnancy when I miscarried and only a few knew of my pregnancy, but those who knew walked by me in the street, crossed the aisles in shops and avoided my gaze. That was so lonely.
I can only imagine what a mother and father have to endure when their baby reaches full term and does not make it. The uncomfortable strain that some in society place upon then when they have no words to comfort and would rather avoid the parents and discussion than just say 'I am so sorry'. It is unbearable.
Maybe I am wrong but I think people struggle for words when little sense can be made of the senselessness of the situation. I knew that by walking for SiMBA I could make a small difference to someone trying to come to terms with the senselessness in a society that may struggle to comfort.
I have some people very close and very dear to me, too many infact, who have experienced the pain, the grief, and the heartache of miscarriage, childlessness, stillbirth and neonatal death. I have been affected by their losses ~ each and every one of them, each and every baby lost has spurred me on in this challenge.
I felt I had been robbed in my first pregnancy but feel it was nothing in comparison to those who have traveled further and longer than I. SiMBA recognises that a little person was here, maybe not long enough for us to discover the light that is their personality, but they were here and should not be forgotten. Those memories are all that some have, they are precious keepsakes to aid the grieving and to remember the person that was here all too briefly. It is important that parents get those gifts to remember and honour the fact that they were a parent all too briefly, but are a parent nonetheless.
I will walk proud for SiMBA in Glasgow!
Eilidh xxx"
Maybe I am wrong but I think people struggle for words when little sense can be made of the senselessness of the situation. I knew that by walking for SiMBA I could make a small difference to someone trying to come to terms with the senselessness in a society that may struggle to comfort.
I have some people very close and very dear to me, too many infact, who have experienced the pain, the grief, and the heartache of miscarriage, childlessness, stillbirth and neonatal death. I have been affected by their losses ~ each and every one of them, each and every baby lost has spurred me on in this challenge.
I felt I had been robbed in my first pregnancy but feel it was nothing in comparison to those who have traveled further and longer than I. SiMBA recognises that a little person was here, maybe not long enough for us to discover the light that is their personality, but they were here and should not be forgotten. Those memories are all that some have, they are precious keepsakes to aid the grieving and to remember the person that was here all too briefly. It is important that parents get those gifts to remember and honour the fact that they were a parent all too briefly, but are a parent nonetheless.
I will walk proud for SiMBA in Glasgow!
Eilidh xxx"
