Back To School

"Learning is a treasure that will follow its owner everywhere." ~Chinese Proverb

A week from today our girls return to school. Charis is heading in to Primary 6, Niamh in to Primary 3. I'd like to say they are excited about it but at the moment they are still enjoying the days full of nothing but fun, swings, the sea and cats!

This year Charis though is particularly aware that she has two sisters who are not there. She has been speaking a lot about that Alex, who would be 8 now, would be going in to Primary 4, and Eilidh Beth who is 5 in a month would be starting Primary 1 with Miss McVicar.  As a fellow bereaved Mum pointed out, there seems to be a lot of us this year thinking "what if" and with a sadness in our hearts that our wee ones are not where they should be, in our homes and preparing for school. 

I've been accused of being morose in talking about my children who have passed as much as I do. But I refuse to stop talking about my Heavenly children - you may not see them but they are very much alive on our hearts and minds and I thank God, at whose feet they sit, that's family feels free enough to chat about them in every day conversation. Just as I am proud of every achievement Charis and Niamh make, I am equally proud of our Heavenly girls and will continue to do that for as long as I have breath in my body. 

Nor will I allow anyone make me feel guilty for sharing my Heavenly girls. Yes, it is upsetting to hear someone talking about a baby who died, even more upsetting to see their picture, and I'm sorry if my sharing upsets you. But as upsetting as it is for others to hear us talk about what happened, put yourself in our shoes and think how you would feel looking at your family and knowing that it is incomplete. With every week, month, season and year that passes, we are left with scattered memories of the child we still dearly love, and who is a part of our very soul and being. 

So as we return to the school run next week, as we wave our children off at the school gates, let's also think about the Mums, Dads & grandparents who in their minds eye are wondering what it would be like to be waving at the child who never came home. 

Day 2 ~ Summer of 2015

Well, Day 2 did not quite go to plan! What should of been a day of church then work for me and beach for the girls did not turn out like that!

I woke in the morning to Niamh asking for my phone. 10 minutes later I had the worst headache I've ever experienced and then started vomiting & felt like I was sitting in the Sahara Desert!

After a few phonecalls back and fore to NHS24 they decided to have me taken in to hospital by ambulance. It took a wee bit longer than we thought to get to us and it transpired they had been sent from Glencoe. A bit of a delay while they checked if they had to first go to Barcaldine for a ladder accident but then we were away. Felt heart sorry for the girls. 

My cup in A&E was a tad ironic!

Long story short is that bloods came back as normal, urine didn't and CT scan of my head was fine. But erring in the side of caution the consultant wants to do a lumber puncture tomorrow. Ugh!

And to add insult to injury my veins wouldn't play ball so the drip is hooked up to my tummy!

Had a lovely visit from Mum, Andrew & the girls this evening - poor Charis was so much quieter than normal, Niamh just seems to take everything in her stride. Charis brought me Rose Quartz, the healing stone ... sweet lass!

So much for getting stuck in to the housework tomorrow! Some folk will do anything to get out of tidying!!

Day 1 ~ Summer of 2015

Day 1 of the Summer Holidays started slooooowly! Charis still has an awful cough, throat and is still complaining of a sore tummy.

The girls decided they wanted to go swimming & snorkelling at Ganavan ... despite the temperature only reaching 17 degrees Celcius. Joy! So we packed some snacks, picked up Noni & headed to the beach. 

The girls had a fantastic afternoon, though the water was cold so I wasn't inclined to do much swimming, walking in to chest level was enough for me! 

We were really annoyed though at the amount of dog owners ignoring their dog's poo on the beach, one woman just kicked sand over it. And one dog blooming peed on our food bag, much to my disgust! If you cannot get your dog to obey you then don't let it off the lead. 

Anyway, it was a lovely afternoon, despite the icy feel to the water!

Each day is precious, each moment with those we love must be cherished.